Values are the compass that guides your life, regardless of what others think or how well you perform in a given situation. By grounding your self-worth in your values, you create a more resilient sense of identity that isn’t easily shaken by external events. For example, if you value compassion, you can feel good about yourself whenever you act compassionately, even if no one notices or praises you for it.
This exercise is also a good reminder to intentionally find times to surround yourself with people who share your values. This may mean seeking it out, if it's not in your current situation.
Exercise: Identifying Your Core Values
Reflection: Start by reflecting on moments in your life when you felt truly fulfilled and proud of your actions. What was it about those moments that made them special? What values were you living by at that time?
Value Clarification: Use this list of values, and circle ones that resonate with you.
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Prioritization: From your circled list, choose the top 3-5 values that are most important to you, and star these. These are the values that you want to guide your life.
Action Plan: Think about how you can live out these values in your daily life. What actions can you take that align with these values? For instance, if you value creativity, you might commit to spending more time on creative projects, regardless of whether anyone else appreciates them.
Practical Application: Next time you find yourself seeking external validation, pause and check in with your values.
Ask yourself:
- "Am I acting in alignment with my values right now?"
- "How can I refocus on what's truly important to me, rather than what others think?"
This approach not only helps you feel better about yourself but also encourages you to live a life that is true to who you are. Remember, your values are always within your control and can guide you through any situation, making them a powerful tool for reducing dependence on external validation.
