📖 Expanding Your Sense of Self

Relying heavily on a single aspect of your identity means that when this element is threatened or altered—such as a job loss, a health issue, or a relationship change—your entire sense of self-worth can be shaken. By developing a more expansive sense of self, you create a buffer that helps you navigate these fluctuations with greater resilience. When your identity is built on multiple facets, the impact of any one change is less likely to destabilize your overall sense of self.

So let's really spend some time to explore all of the elements that make up who you are. 

This exercise, called identity mapping, allows you to zoom out. Here's how to do this.

1. Grab a blank piece of paper. In the center, write "Me".

2. Next, make circles of all of the spheres of your identity. This could be relationships, like friends, family, or other loved ones. Feel free to get detailed here--if you have different friend groups, separate them out. Unlike the image above, make them varying sizes, based on how important a role each plays in your life today.

3. Add circles for other parts of your identity, like your hobbies, skills, your religion, your ethnicity, and your values . Again, vary the sizes on these circles.

4. Next, make another layer of circles, and add a quote that you think each group might say about you. For example, "She is such a loyal friend." or "She is the most consistent player on our team", or "Her art brings me to tears." These don't have to be real, but just do your best guess. And, some might not be awesome today, and that's ok. You may, for instance, have a "If only she studied harder." or "She always flakes on me." This is ok. 

OK, done? Feel like it's comprehensive? Is it an accurate representation of who you are today?

Great, do it again. 

This time, new blank page (or turn that one over)...do it as you in 5 years. 

Are the circles the same sizes? Are there new ones? Are some gone? Have the quotes changed? In what ways?

Use this to motivate and inspire you.